When you walk through Camden Market on a Saturday afternoon or catch the Tube home from Shoreditch at midnight, you might wonder: what do Londoners actually think about group sex? It’s not something you hear talked about on the news or see in ads. But it’s out there. And people have opinions - strong ones.
It’s Not What You See on TV
Most people assume that group sex is either a wild party scene or something only happens in secret clubs. The truth? For the few who do engage in it, it’s rarely about chaos. More often, it’s about trust, boundaries, and communication. A 2024 survey by the London Sexual Health Network found that less than 3% of Londoners have ever participated in a group sexual encounter. But among those who have, 82% said it was a consensual, planned experience - not something that happened spontaneously at a party.
What’s surprising is how many people who haven’t tried it still say they’re open to the idea. Nearly 1 in 5 respondents between the ages of 25 and 40 said they wouldn’t rule it out, if the right conditions were met. That doesn’t mean they want to do it tomorrow. It just means they don’t see it as inherently wrong.
Why London? Why Now?
London’s size, diversity, and anonymity make it one of the few cities in the UK where people feel safe exploring unconventional sexual preferences. Unlike smaller towns where everyone knows your business, London lets you be whoever you want - at least until you step into the wrong WhatsApp group.
There are online communities - not the kind you’d find on Reddit, but private, invite-only forums and encrypted apps - where people discuss boundaries, consent protocols, and even shared hygiene routines. One user, who asked to remain anonymous, told me they joined a group after moving here from Manchester. "I was scared at first. But here, people talk about safety before anything else. It’s not about wildness. It’s about respect."
The Real Rules Nobody Talks About
If you think group sex is just about having more people in the room, you’re missing the point. The people who do this regularly follow rules - strict ones.
- Consent isn’t a one-time thing. It’s checked and rechecked throughout.
- Everyone gets a say in who’s included - no surprises.
- STI testing is mandatory, and results are shared before any physical contact.
- There’s always a "safe word" system, and sometimes even a designated "timekeeper" to make sure no one feels pressured.
- Aftercare is non-negotiable. That means emotional check-ins, drinks, and sometimes just sitting in silence together.
These aren’t just guidelines. They’re lifelines. One woman in her early thirties, who’s been part of a consistent group for over two years, said: "If you skip any of these steps, you’re not just risking your health. You’re risking trust. And once that’s gone, you can’t get it back."
What People Are Afraid Of
Despite the openness, stigma still exists. A lot of Londoners who are curious about group sex never act on it because they fear judgment - from friends, coworkers, or even their own families.
One man in his forties, who works in finance in Canary Wharf, said he’s been thinking about trying it for years. "I’ve got a good relationship with my partner. We’re both open-minded. But what if someone finds out? What if it gets back to my boss? I’m not asking for a parade. I’m just asking for the right to explore without being labeled."
That fear isn’t unfounded. A 2023 study from King’s College London found that 41% of people who admitted to having tried group sex later regretted telling someone - not because of the act itself, but because of how others reacted.
It’s Not About Sex. It’s About Connection
Most people who engage in group sex don’t describe it as "hot" or "exciting." They describe it as intimate. Not in the romantic way, but in the way that happens when you’re vulnerable with others and still feel safe.
One woman in Peckham told me: "We’ve all been through breakups, losses, loneliness. This isn’t about getting off. It’s about feeling held. Even if it’s just for an hour."
That’s the quiet truth most outsiders miss. It’s not about the number of bodies. It’s about the quality of the connection. And in a city as lonely as London - where over 2 million people live alone - that matters more than you think.
The Myth of the "Swinger Scene"
There’s a common belief that group sex in London is part of some glamorous, leather-clad, champagne-sipping scene. That’s not it. The reality? Most of these gatherings happen in someone’s living room. Maybe a rented Airbnb in Brixton. Sometimes, it’s just two couples who’ve known each other for years and decide to try something new.
There are no clubs with velvet ropes. No bouncers. No dress codes. Just people showing up, talking, checking in, and deciding whether to move forward - together.
One couple in Hackney said they’ve been doing this for five years. "We don’t even call it group sex," the woman said. "We call it "hanging out naked with friends.""
What’s Next?
As younger generations grow up with more open conversations about sex, boundaries, and consent, attitudes are slowly shifting. A 2025 survey of Londoners under 30 found that 28% believe group sex should be treated like any other consensual adult activity - no stigma, no shame.
That doesn’t mean it’s becoming mainstream. But it does mean it’s becoming less taboo. And for many, that’s enough.
What Londoners really think about group sex? Most don’t have a strong opinion. They just want to be left alone to make their own choices - as long as everyone’s safe, willing, and honest about it.
Is group sex legal in London?
Yes, group sex is legal in London as long as all participants are over 18, fully consenting, and no money changes hands. It’s protected under UK law as a private, consensual adult activity. However, if it takes place in a public space - like a park or a nightclub - it becomes illegal. The key is privacy and consent.
Are there any safe spaces or groups for group sex in London?
There are no public venues or clubs for group sex in London. Any organization claiming to offer that is either a scam or operating illegally. The only safe spaces are private, invitation-only groups that prioritize consent, hygiene, and emotional safety. These are usually found through trusted networks - not apps or social media. Word-of-mouth and mutual vetting are the only reliable methods.
Do most Londoners approve of group sex?
Most Londoners don’t have strong feelings either way. A 2024 survey showed that 63% of residents said they don’t judge others for exploring consensual group sex, as long as it’s private. But only 3% have tried it themselves. The majority either don’t know much about it, or choose not to engage. Approval isn’t about agreement - it’s about tolerance.
Can group sex damage relationships?
It can - but only if boundaries aren’t clear. Many couples who try group sex report deeper trust and communication afterward. But others struggle with jealousy, insecurity, or mismatched expectations. The biggest risk isn’t the act itself - it’s poor communication. Successful groups treat it like a team sport: everyone needs to be on the same page before the game starts.
Is group sex common among young Londoners?
Not common, but more talked about. Among 18-30-year-olds, about 5% say they’ve tried it, and 18% say they’d consider it. That’s higher than older generations, but still a small minority. What’s changed is the openness to discuss it. Younger Londoners are more likely to ask questions, research safety, and talk to partners honestly - even if they never act on it.
