More people are talking about rimming than ever before-and not just in whispered conversations or late-night apps. It’s showing up in sex education blogs, therapist office discussions, and even mainstream dating apps as a common preference. If you’ve ever wondered why this act is suddenly getting so much attention, you’re not alone. Rimming, or analingus, isn’t new. But what’s changed is how openly people are exploring it, asking questions, and prioritizing safety and pleasure over shame.
What Rimming Actually Is (And What It Isn’t)
Rimming means using the tongue and lips to stimulate the anus. That’s it. No penetration. No toys. Just oral contact. Some people do it for pleasure, others for emotional connection, and many for both. It’s not a substitute for other sexual acts-it’s its own experience.
There’s a lot of misinformation out there. Some think it’s dirty, dangerous, or only for certain types of couples. The truth? It’s a natural, common act that’s been part of human intimacy for centuries. Modern research from the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2024 found that over 42% of adults under 35 have tried rimming at least once, and 68% of those who did said they’d do it again. The biggest reason? Pleasure and trust.
Why It’s Becoming Popular Now
The rise in rimming isn’t random. It’s tied to bigger shifts in how people think about sex. Older generations were taught to avoid anal contact due to stigma, hygiene fears, or religious beliefs. Today’s generation grew up with access to honest sex education, body-positive influencers, and platforms where people share real experiences-not porn fantasies.
Apps like Tinder and Bumble now let users list sexual preferences directly. ‘Rimming’ is a common tag. Reddit threads about anal pleasure have over 2 million members. YouTube channels run by certified sex educators show safe techniques with real people-not actors. This openness is normalizing what was once taboo.
Another factor: women and non-binary people are leading the conversation. For too long, sexual pleasure was framed as something men gave to women. Now, people are exploring what *they* enjoy, regardless of gender roles. Rimming is often requested by partners who want to feel desired in a non-penetrative way. It’s intimate, slow, and deeply personal.
How It Feels-From Both Sides
The anus is packed with nerve endings. More than you might think. Studies show the anal region has over 10,000 sensory nerves, many of which connect to the pelvic floor and lower spine. That means stimulation can trigger strong physical responses: tingling, warmth, even full-body shivers.
For the person receiving: It can feel like deep relaxation. Some describe it as a release-both physically and emotionally. Others say it makes them feel seen in a way penetrative sex doesn’t.
For the person giving: Many find it surprisingly arousing. It’s tactile, intimate, and requires focus. There’s no rush. No performance pressure. Just presence. One 28-year-old from Manchester told me, “It’s the only time I feel like I’m not just servicing my partner. I’m part of the pleasure, not just the giver.”
Safety First: Hygiene, Communication, and Boundaries
Let’s get real: hygiene matters. But not in the way you might think. You don’t need to douche. You don’t need to fast for hours. You just need basic cleanliness.
- Shower before. Use mild soap. Rinse well.
- Avoid rimming after bowel movements-wait at least 4 hours.
- Use dental dams if either partner has an STI, open sores, or isn’t sure of their status.
- Never go from anal to vaginal or oral without changing the barrier or washing hands/tongue.
Communication is non-negotiable. Ask before you start. Use clear language: “Do you like this?” “Should I go slower?” “Stop if it hurts.” Many people feel vulnerable during rimming. That’s normal. A simple “I’m nervous” or “I’m not sure” should be met with patience, not pressure.
Boundaries change. Someone might be open to it one night and not the next. That’s okay. Consent isn’t a one-time checkbox. It’s an ongoing conversation.
Common Myths Debunked
Myth: Rimming is unsanitary.
Truth: With basic hygiene, it’s no riskier than kissing. The body has natural defenses. Bacteria in the anal area aren’t inherently dangerous-they’re just different from what’s in the mouth. Cleanliness reduces risk more than fear does.
Myth: Only gay men do it.
Truth: Heterosexual, queer, and asexual couples all practice it. A 2024 survey of 5,000 UK adults found 39% of heterosexual couples had tried it. Gender doesn’t predict interest-curiosity does.
Myth: It’s painful or gross.
Truth: Discomfort usually comes from rushing, poor communication, or anxiety. Slow, gentle, and consensual rimming is often described as soothing, not painful. Taste? That’s subjective. Some say it’s neutral. Others describe it as earthy or slightly salty. It’s not about liking the taste-it’s about the connection.
How to Try It-Step by Step
If you’re curious, here’s a simple way to start:
- Have an open talk. Ask if your partner is open to it. No pressure.
- Shower together. Make it part of the ritual, not a chore.
- Start with kissing the area lightly. Use your lips, not your tongue yet.
- Gradually add gentle tongue strokes. Start slow. Focus on the outer rim, not deep inside.
- Watch for reactions. Are they breathing deeper? Relaxing? Tensing up?
- Ask for feedback. “How’s this?” “Want me to stop?” “More pressure?”
- Use a dental dam if you’re unsure about STI status. They’re cheap, easy to find, and make people feel safer.
Don’t rush. Don’t aim for orgasm. Just be present. The goal isn’t to “complete” the act-it’s to share a moment.
When It’s Not Right for You
Not everyone will like rimming. And that’s fine. Maybe you’re uncomfortable with the idea. Maybe you have past trauma. Maybe your body just doesn’t respond to it. None of that makes you broken or weird.
Sexual exploration should never feel like an obligation. If you’re doing it because you think you should, you’ll resent it. If you’re doing it because you want to, it can be beautiful.
There’s no hierarchy of intimacy. Kissing, cuddling, fingering, rimming, penetration-they’re all tools. Use what feels right. Skip what doesn’t.
What Comes Next?
Rimming isn’t just a trend. It’s part of a bigger shift toward pleasure-based, trauma-informed sex. People are learning that intimacy isn’t about checking boxes-it’s about connection, communication, and mutual care.
As more people talk openly about it, stigma fades. More clinics offer guidance. More therapists include it in sex therapy. More educational resources become available.
If you’re interested, start small. Talk. Listen. Explore slowly. And remember: the best sex isn’t the most extreme. It’s the most honest.
Is rimming safe for people with hemorrhoids?
It’s best to avoid rimming if you have active hemorrhoids, especially if they’re swollen, bleeding, or painful. The friction can worsen irritation. Wait until they’re fully healed, then start very gently. Always use a dental dam and communicate with your partner about discomfort.
Can you get an STI from rimming?
Yes, but the risk is low with basic precautions. STIs like gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, and HPV can spread through oral-anal contact. Hepatitis A is also a concern if hygiene is poor. Using a dental dam reduces risk significantly. Regular STI testing and open communication with partners are the best defenses.
Do I need to clean my anus before rimming?
A simple shower with mild soap is enough. Avoid douching-it disrupts natural flora and can cause irritation. Don’t use harsh soaps, scrubs, or enemas. Cleanliness is about comfort and safety, not perfection.
Why does my partner want to do this?
People want rimming for many reasons: pleasure, emotional closeness, curiosity, or because it feels different from penetrative sex. It’s rarely about fetish or kink alone. Often, it’s about trust-letting someone get close in a vulnerable way. Ask them gently. Their answer might surprise you.
Is rimming only for couples?
No. Many people explore it solo with toys designed for external anal stimulation. Others do it with partners they’re not in a romantic relationship with. Consent and communication matter more than relationship status.
